Skeletons in Our Closet: Everybody Has Their Own Sh*t.

The longer I exist in this world, the more I learn.

(Thankfully. I’m getting smarter. Not dumber. Yasss!)

Do you want to know what’s been more eye-opening than anything?

It’s this: EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN SHIT.

Regardless of what their social media account says.

Regardless of how many Sunday’s they make it to church.

Regardless of how many self-help books they read.

Regardless of how many friends they have.

Regardless of their reputation.

Regardless of the cost of their house.

Regardless of how many inspiring quotes they use.

Regardless of the number of years of marriage, or number of kids.

EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN SHIT.

Ok. So now that we‘ve established that nobody’s perfect... How can we use this information in a positive way? In a way that can be beneficial?

I’ve found two ways that have helped me, tremendously.

1.) It frees you to forgive yourself, move forward, and compare less.

The day I realized (or rather, cumulatively realized, after years of observation), that other people have struggled in the same ways I have, or even made the same mistakes I have, it leveled the playing field. If I could look at these people and think, ‘I mean, yeah, that was an asshole thing to do, but move on already’, why couldn’t I say the same for things I’d done, and was unwilling to forgive myself for? Things I punished myself with guilty feelings for- for years?

I know that just because everybody else is doing it doesn’t make it right, but it does help to know that if they can figure it out, forgive, and move on... then I’m not special for holding things against myself for decades, either.

2.) It creates less room for judgement.

This is a big one, as well. Especially in a little town, where everyone knows everyone and everything. (And I’m not going to sit here and tell you I haven’t talked about people! I have. But I am trying to do better.)

I think that when we all realize that everybody has some sort of skeleton in their closet, the high-and-mighty should come out of the equation. Whether the rumor is gossip or the truth: It. Doesn’t. Matter.

Sally: ‘Oh, I heard Jess did this!’

Susie: ‘Oh really? And what if she did?’

Sally: ‘Uhhh....’

Whether Jess actually screwed up and did the wrong, gossip-worthy act that Sally wants to discuss or not, the judgement isn’t hers to make! Regardless of what actually happened. Whether or not it’s true should have no impact on whether Jess gets judged or not.

Nobody is perfect.

EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN SHIT.

(If I’m being totally honest, my empath heart sees the action, but thinks, ‘Ugh, poor girl. What’s going on in her life that she’s dealing with it in this way? Because that was EXACTLY the case for me.) 

This post is not meant to be a ‘Get Out Of Jail Free’ card, just because everybody else is doing it.

It’s a ‘Learn to Forgive Yourself and Be a Less Judgemental A-Hole‘ card, because, again: literally no one is perfect. 

EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN SHIT.

Keep working on you. Incessantly. But while trying to move forward, if you happen to stumble, just remember: we all do. Even that girl with the perfectly-curated Instagram feed, or the  woman who hasn’t missed a Sunday service in years. 

Use this information to forgive yourself, and be less judgy of others- THAT would be Luxuriously Dope.